Sunday, December 10, 2006

Morbid Menus

These are what the menus at my birthday party are going to say (in a tie-in with A Series of Unfortunate Events-same as the invitations).

(Side One)
An Ersatz Menu
Esme Squalor (proud girlfriend of Count Olaf) presents “The IN Menu”

Le Menu
Catered by Café Salmonella, a very IN restaurant (located in the Fish District)

Today’s All IN Menu Will Include:

Beverages

Water with frozen Salmon chunks (instead of ice cubes)

Parsley Soda (the most IN beverage)

Salmon Smoothie (made by hand!)

Entrees

Chilled Salmon Salad
Creamy Salmon Soup
Salmon Ravioli
Salmon Puffs
Broiled Salmon

Deserts

Salmon Pie
Salmon Ice Cream

(Side Two)


The
Real
Menu

Food Found Mysteriously at Church’s Chicken & Rudy’s
Lemony Snicket Presents: The Macabre Menu
Ersatz Entrees

Rudy’s
Badly Behaved Brisket
Terrifying Turkey
Petrified Pork Ribs
Church’s
Austerely Assorted Chicken Pieces

Bothersome Beverages

Soda
Sad Sprite
Cankerous Coke
Dejected Dr. Pepper
Detestable Diet Coke
Teas

Bill Miller’s
Slippery Sweet & Unfortunately Un-sweet

Specialties
Snicket Soda
Ferocious Floats
Horrifying Hot- Chocolate

Dismal Deserts

Cake
Carnivorous Cake (strawberry cake with chocolate icing)

Others
Broadway Daily Bread’s
Lamentable Lemon Bars
Baleful Brownies
Ill-Fated Ice cream (Vociferous Vanilla & Chortling Chocolate)

5 comments:

Veronica said...

Thats funny, and very clever! I have inly read the first book in the series. I think i should read more. You party sounds amazing! I hope it goes well. I was planning on throwing a new years party but the only problem is that so many people go away at that time of year. So i might not do it. Also you might be pleased to know that i added the next part of my book and another short story. I have been very bussy so instead of waiting a week to give you all the next part, i have decided to post it later 2day or 2marrow. Well thats all i have to say for now!

Anonymous said...

So cool! It reminds me of last year, when I compiled the "CAUTIOUS CUISINE COOKBOOK" - filled with tons of recipes related to the series! (Including Parsley Soda and all things Salmon.)

Boy, I guess I *am* obsessed....

Sookie said...

Erin, did you ever get Snicket to look at that cookbook? It sounds like so much fun!

Anonymous said...

Well, I tried to send it to him, and got a form letter back from the publisher which basically said, "I am too busy to answer my mail, from Lemony Snicket". Except of course it was written in a very Snicket-ish fashion. At least I know I tried. :-) (Their loss!!)

Sookie said...

It is their loss. I know loads of people who would have enjoyed a Lemony Snicket Cookbook. Especially, I know one (me!).
The only thing I invented for this menu that actually ties in with the book is Snicket Soda-which is raspberry italian soda on ice mixed with sprite and pepperment icecream. A surprise in every sip!
Ha ha :)
It's actually pretty good though, if you live in Texas and are trying to cool down in this hot weather.